So, on Friday I had three different plans for this weekend. The last one won out, and in thirty minutes I packed, hopped in a car, and ended up in Neenah, Wisconsin with three of my dearest friends. There were three things for my to do list: laundry, rest, work.
 |
| Rest |
Breaks typically give me a space to zoom out, take a couple of adventures, and think about priorities. Am I living the fullest life possible?
I have no idea. I can sing the entirety of The Sound of Music from beginning to end right now, but I have no idea if I am actually climbing every mountain and turning over every stone. I'm a little obsessed with the idea of dreams right now, of how God gives people literal dreams, figurative dreams, and how we cast our own. I find myself crying while watching Pocahontas (which should surprise 100% of no one who knows me): Or do you still wait for me Dream Giver/ Just around the river bend.
Cheesy, yeah.
True, yeah.
 |
Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Ps. 37:4
When I was in Glasgow, I was talking with my small group leader Roxy about how unsure I was about trusting my love for the city. Because when you love something, you know you're not exactly right in the head. You're just wrapped up in the mystery of how your beloved breathes, whistles, walks across the street. That mystery clouds all good judgment with a beautiful mist that is wonderful, but also causes widespread car wrecks. Roxy said "He gives you the desires of your heart for a reason." Trusting my heart is a little like walking on a log across a river: one unsure step at a time, aware of the rush of water, hoping the solid ground comes soon. |
 |
| Suddenly I realize that if I stepped out of my body I would burst into blossom -James Wright |
But after a weekend of reviewing how my life is going, I feel settled. If climbing every mountain is finding a dream that will need all the love I can give, then I can honestly say that I am giving all of the love in me right now. My heart is swollen with love for my friends, my parents, my brothers, my mentors, the leaves on the ground, the snowflakes about the fall, I am sure that I would burst if more was added to me. For which I am profoundly grateful. There were no revelations this weekend. I saw a beautiful city with dear people, God reminded me of His beauty and faithfulness, and I return to school with a bag of clean clothes, an empty to-do list, and a refreshed heart ready for the next dream.
Much love,
Em
 |
| Aren't they great? |
No comments:
Post a Comment