This week I entered a house filled with beer bottles, beer yet to be consumed, cigarette packs, and pounds of free coffee. I do not know what these men's aspirations are, but currently they work at Starbucks/Panera/Caribou. And my stomach did backflips, because right now I am staring my future in the face and have this gnawing fear of wasting my potential. I will have a college degree and the world (kind of) at my feet and I could waste all of my potential. Work at Starbucks. Forever. Giving away bags of coffee while watching all the things I have ever hoped I could do or all the things I legitimately could be go down the drain. I will be stuck. I will be unfulfilled. I will have wasted everything.
Or.
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| Kelvingrove, Stupidly Happy |
I could apply for jobs (which I have been) and have a plan (which I do) and be going after my dreams (which I am) and just see what happens when you jump off the cliff.
I had dinner with a friend the other week and we were talking about our future plans. He said it is really strange to have these plans and to realize as you're approaching them "Hey, this might not work out." But I think we're just young enough for it to be okay to take a running leap off of the cliff. Because they might work out or you might work at Starbucks, but I would like to know that I tried. So here I am. Trying.
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| There's a River Runs Through Glasgow |
Much love,
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